


Riding Bikes Across the Street Without Looking Either Way

by buoyantsaturn



Series: I'm in Hell [8]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Violence, somebody get this boy a therapist, update: thank god annabeth is gonna get this boy a therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22700209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buoyantsaturn/pseuds/buoyantsaturn
Summary: “Ah, Nico, pour me a drink would you?” Hades said. “I’d do it myself, but the bottles keep moving out from under my hand.”Nico stopped about ten feet away from him, scratching uncomfortably at his forearm as he muttered, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque
Series: I'm in Hell [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/625238
Comments: 18
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello i'm back with this sooner than i thought i would be!! planned this fic,, primarily,,, while very depressed,,,, and it just got worse from there, so, brace yourselves folks it's gonna be a rough ride
> 
> as with all I'm in Hell fics, title is from Bike Ride by the Brobecks (im running out of usable lyrics,,,,)
> 
> **PLEASE read the tags so yall know what youre getting into,,,**

It was a few days after Christmas, but Nico and Hades still felt the effects of the anniversary of Bianca’s death, clinging to them at every moment and wrapping around their hearts and squeezing like a rubber band. This time of year was always harder on them than usual - Nico more than Hades, though Hades liked to play the victim rather than the victimizer when he started drinking.

Usually it was just the occasional off-handed comment - “If only Bianca were here,” with a harsh look Nico’s way, just in case he hadn’t been feeling guilty enough already - but sometimes his words were much more pointed - “She would still be here if it weren’t for you,” more often than not said with a drunken slur to his words. He never started throwing punches when Hazel or Persephone were in the room, as though even the alcohol wouldn’t let him forget that he couldn’t leave witnesses to his abuse. It was just his word against Nico’s then - and the bruises that Nico struggled to hide from his sister. 

The passing of the holiday usually brought them both out of their bad moods. Nico finally regained the energy to leave the house, at least for long enough that he could attend Christmas Mass with his family, and Hades’s drinking tended to slow down on Christmas Day. 

When Hades came stumbling into the house late on the twenty-seventh, though, Nico’s heart stopped. If Hades was still drinking so heavily, then things would only get worse for Nico. 

“Nico!” Hades called, and Nico flinched, but didn’t move. “I know you’re awake, Niccolo! You come when I call you!”

He would rather run and hide, actually, but he knew that if he didn’t listen to his father, then Hades would just keep shouting until he woke Hazel and Persephone, and Nico didn’t want them to interact with him in this state. Nico rose from the couch and followed the sound of Hades’s voice until he found his father leaning against one wall, staring down the table of expensive liquors across from him. 

“Ah, Nico, pour me a drink would you?” Hades said. “I’d do it myself, but the bottles keep moving out from under my hand.”

Nico stopped about ten feet away from him, scratching uncomfortably at his forearm as he muttered, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

Hades lifted his head slowly, his eyes locking on Nico and narrowing. “What did you say to me?”

Nico’s hand tightened around his arm, the sharp pain of his nails digging into the skin reminding him of the pain that would come if he didn’t keep his mouth shut, but it wasn’t enough to stop him. “You’ve had enough.”

With one hand on the wall to brace himself, Hades started toward Nico, tripping over his own feet on the first few steps. “Is that any way to treat your father?” he snarled. 

Nico’s head snapped up, and he glared, gaze unbreaking, into his father’s eyes. “Is this any way to treat her memory?”

The sting from the open-palmed slap on Nico’s cheek should’ve been expected, but he was surprised nonetheless. He tried not to show it on his face, or in any part of him, and kept his head turned away even as Hades grabbed the front of his shirt to yank him forward. Nico could smell the alcohol on his breath as he hissed, “You don’t get to tell me how to treat her memory, you little shit. Not when it’s your fault she’s dead!”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Nico whispered, unaware that he’d said the words out loud until Hades slapped him across the face once more - the other cheek, to even things out. 

“You look just like her,” Hades said, his voice softening, though his grip didn’t. “You, Bianca, Maria. You all look the same. But I’d rather have either of them than you. It should’ve been you.” He hefted Nico up by the front of his shirt and tossed him aside, toward the display of liquor. “Pour me a drink and get out of my face.”

Nico did. And then he ran. 

Nico hid in his room for a few hours, unable to sleep, but unable to make himself get out of bed, either. Not when there was a possibility that Hades was still stumbling around on the main floor of the house, waiting for his favorite target to reappear. It wasn’t until sometime after three in the morning that Nico finally crept out of his room, just with the intention of heading to the bathroom, but on his way back to his bedroom, he heard the rumbling snores that signified Hades had finally passed out. 

Nico tiptoed down the stairs, unsure of where Hades had fallen asleep but wanting to be cautious in case he wasn’t out cold. He found Hades sprawled out on the couch, still fully dressed all the way down to the loafers he’d worn to work. Carefully and quietly, Nico sneaked closer to his father in order to retrieve his laptop from the coffee table. When he knew he was in the clear, Nico hurried back toward the stairs, though he hesitated in the hall as he passed the liquor display.

He glanced back over his shoulder. Hades was sound asleep, so there was no way he would notice if something happened to one of the bottles. And there was a full wine cellar underneath his feet that very moment. What could be the harm in taking a couple of bottles? 

Nico tucked his laptop under his arm and grabbed the two glass bottles - decanters, he thought Hades had called them once before - and carried them away. He took them to the kitchen and set them on the counter, putting his laptop aside before he opened the first decanter and poured its contents down the drain. A moment later, he did the same with the second decanter, then replaced the bottles exactly where he’d found them before he retrieved his laptop from the kitchen and ran up the stairs, his nervous pulse pounding in his ears. 

* * *

_One Week Ago_

_FROM: Percy; You need to get out of there, dude. And now that Hazel’s in college, you don’t need to stay behind just for her. I don’t want you getting hurt anymore._

_A Few Days Ago_

_FROM: Percy; Merry Christmas, Nico! Any updates?_

_Yesterday_

_FROM: Percy; Can you at least text me back so I know you’re not dead?_

_Today_

_TO: Percy; i think i messed up. big time._

* * *

Nico would have slept the day away if Hazel hadn’t come to wake him. She burst into his room sometime after noon and jumped on his bed, startling him awake and causing his heart to stop until Nico realized who it was. 

_Not Hades. It’s Hazel. It’s okay, I’m safe._

His heart rate spiked for a moment as he realized that he had no idea what his face looked like after taking a few hits the night before, so rather than sitting up, Nico tucked his face into his pillow and dragged his blanket up to his ears. “What do you want?” he groaned.

“I’m only here for another few days,” Hazel reminded him, poking him in the sides in an attempt to get him to move. “What’s the point in hanging around here if you’re just going to sleep all the time?” Hazel flopped on top of her brother. “Spend time with me!”

“Okay, okay!” Nico shouted as he attempted to roll Hazel off of him. “Give me a minute to wake up, would you? I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes.”

“Ugh, _fine,”_ Hazel replied. She hopped off the bed and started toward the door, but Nico stopped her before she could reach it.

“Hey, uh… Dad isn’t here, is he?”

“No, he left for work a few hours ago.”

“Did he seem...mad?”

“No.” Hazel leaned back against the closed door and rolled her eyes. “Hungover, but not mad.”

“Okay.” Nico took a breath. “Get out, let me get dressed. I wanna go out for breakfast.”

“I think you mean lunch,” Hazel pointed out. “But as long as you’re buying, I won’t complain!”

Finally, Hazel left the room, closing the door again behind herself, and Nico dragged himself out of bed. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand where he’d left it to charge while he slept, and opened up the camera. His cheeks were slightly pink, though that was probably just from sleep, and he didn’t notice any visible bruises even if he could feel them. His mouth stretched out in a yawn, and his jaw clicked as though realigning from the slaps he’d taken.

He got dressed quickly and went downstairs to find Hazel. “Ready to go?” he asked, and Hazel followed him to the door. “How do you feel about stopping by the store while we’re out? We could get some snacks or something for you to keep in your dorm this semester.”

“I can buy my own snacks,” Hazel told him.

“Fine,” Nico said. He stepped into his shoes and grabbed his keys. “Anything else you need? Shoes, a new coat? Do you have enough money in your bank account? Because I can transfer--”

“I’m good, Neeks,” Hazel told him, shoving at his shoulder as she started out the door. “Besides, if I need anything, I’m barely an hour from home. I can just swing by here when I have time, or you could bring me anything I forgot. Part of the reason I chose this school was because it’s so close to home, you know.”

Nico swallowed around a lump in his throat. “Right. I knew that.”

They stayed out for a while, spending about an hour at the restaurant where Hazel had lunch and Nico had breakfast, then Nico allowed Hazel to drag him around from store to store at the nearest mall. They didn’t end up buying anything, despite how often Nico offered, and returned home just in time to stop Persephone from cooking dinner. Nico took her place in the kitchen and made a meal for three after Persephone told him that Hades was “working late” again that night, which Nico took to mean _swung by the bar after work and won’t be home for a few more hours._

Hazel went off to her room to finish up some packing to prepare herself for when she went back to her dorm, and Persephone insisted that she wash the dishes since Nico cooked. That freed Nico up to bring his laptop down to the living room and work on his writing. He hadn’t started his online college classes until Hazel left for school, and like her he was between semesters at the moment, but that just gave him more time to do some free writing. It was one of the only things he’d ever felt like he was good at - whether it be academic papers, fictional stories, or articles for his high school’s newspaper - but he still couldn’t decide _what_ exactly he wanted to do. In the meantime, he typically spent his free time writing whatever came to mind - fiction, this time.

He’d gotten himself so caught up in the story he’d written that he hardly even noticed the passing of time. Hazel had come by at some point to spend more time with him, but when he’d been mostly unresponsive, she’d said her goodnight and headed off to bed. He could only guess that Persephone had gone to sleep as well, though he knew for certain that Hades had not yet returned home. Regardless of how zoned out Nico was, it was hard to miss the slamming of the front door and stomping footsteps that signaled his drunken father’s arrival. 

When the front door finally did slam shut, Nico’s blood went cold. He wanted to run for the stairs, but then he would have been in a direct line of sight from the foyer. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hide from Hades forever, anyway. 

“Nico!” Hades shouted, and _oh God,_ he sounded _angry._ “Niccolo Vincenzo, what happened to my scotch? Nico!”

Nico considered the chances he would be able to run upstairs unheard and barricade his bedroom door. He even thought about calling the cops to finally get Hades caught in the act, but then Hades shouted for him again.

Nico stood, and went to his father. He kept a safe distance between them again, larger than before, but he knew it wouldn’t do much to help. He kept his gaze down and locked the fingers of his right hand around his left wrist, prepared to keep his mouth shut. 

Hades lifted one of the decanters and held it out for Nico to see. “Look at this! Do you see something missing?”

“The scotch,” Nico murmured. 

“Speak up!” 

“The scotch is gone,” Nico tried again, louder this time but maintaining a monotone voice. He squeezed his own wrist. “Are you sure you didn’t drink it all?”

“This bottle was half full last night!” Hades screamed. “I know my limits, and I know I didn’t drink all of it, so tell me what happened!”

Nico dug his fingernails into his skin, but that didn’t stop his next words from spilling out. “I poured it out!” he shouted back, squeezing his eyes shut. “I dumped it all down the drain! It’s gone, and you’re never getting it back!”

He should have kept his eyes open, so he would have seen Hades approaching. He could have watched as Hades adjusted his grip around the neck of the bottle in his hand, and would have had plenty of time to run, but instead his eyes stayed firmly shut until the last moment. After a few moments of no response, Nico looked at his father just as Hades swung the glass bottle, connecting to the side of Nico’s head with a sickening _crack!_

Nico’s body crumbled to the floor, and Hades stepped over his motionless body on his way to the wine cellar.

Nico’s head was pounding. He didn’t want to open his eyes, because he was almost certain the room was spinning around him. He started to move, pushing his palms against the carpet, but as soon as he lifted his head off the floor, he felt nauseated. He swallowed down the bile rising in his throat and forced himself to stand, immediately feeling woozy and leaning against the wall for support. 

He took a few minutes to breathe through the pain, and reached up to assess the injury to his head. At the slightest brush of his fingers, Nico flinched as the throbbing was accompanied by a sudden sting. He took another deep breath against the pain and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t look at his hand - wouldn’t have been able to see it in the darkness anyway - but he knew that the warm stickiness he felt could only be one thing. He wiped the blood off on the thigh of his jeans.

Nico started moving, though he couldn’t quite see straight. Or maybe he just wasn’t walking straight. “Can’t do anything straight,” he joked to himself, but the vibration of his own voice in his head just exacerbated the pain.

It took much longer than it normally would have to make it up the stairs and down the hall to Hazel’s room. He didn’t bother knocking before he went inside - she wouldn’t be awake to welcome him in anyway - and he’d finally started seeing clearly by the time he was standing over Hazel’s bed, shaking her awake. 

“What?” she mumbled, still mostly asleep. “What’s happening?”

“Hazel, wake up,” Nico demanded. “There’s no time to explain, but you need to finish packing. I’m taking you back to your dorm right now.”

“But...why?” 

“Please, just trust me on this.”

Hazel sat up in her bed and rubbed at her eyes. “Okay, fine. Can you turn the light on?”

“No,” he said without a reason why. After a second, he said, “Dad and Seph can’t know.”

Hazel hesitated.

“Please,” Nico begged. 

Hazel got up. They packed up her things by the light of their phone’s flashlights, and moved her suitcases and other belongings quickly and silently out to Nico’s car - it had been a gift when he graduated high school, whereas Hazel had asked for a trip to Rome, which left her without her own means of transportation. Once they’d loaded the car as full as it could be, they started to drive.

When they pulled onto the highway, Hazel finally said, “Okay, we have time now. Tell me what’s going on.”

Nico tapped his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously. “It’s...hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

He huffed, and tried to give himself time to craft an answer. How could he explain without letting out the truth of his abuse? If Hazel found out he’d been hiding those beatings from her for so long, she might never forgive him. “It’s...Dad’s drinking problem. He normally starts to get better after Christmas, but that didn’t happen this year. I have a...bad feeling about it, and I don’t trust him.”

“You just have a bad feeling?” Hazel questioned. “We had to move me out of the house in the middle of the night because you have a _bad feeling?_ Tell me what happened, Nico!” She reached over and flicked him in the ear, causing Nico to flinch and swerve across the center line. Luckily for them, no one else was dumb enough to drive at that time of night, and Nico was able to correct himself immediately, though he still chose to pull the car over onto the shoulder and parked the car. He took his hands off the steering wheel, watching them shake for a moment before they dropped to his lap and curled into fists as though they would stop the adrenaline from pumping through him. 

He didn’t look up at Hazel, because he knew he wouldn’t like what he would see if he looked in her eyes - concern, anger, fear, probably, or maybe she just thought he was going insane. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispered, staring down at his lap.

Something brushed against his hair, and Nico flinched away from the sting that accompanied it once more. “You’re bleeding,” Hazel said softly, as though she hadn’t intended for the words to be spoken aloud, then panic seeped into her words as she continued, “Nico, why is your head bleeding?”

Nico looked up at his sister finally and saw everything he expected to see in her eyes, except...there was something else there, too. Sadness, maybe, almost like grief. There was enough grief in this family as it was, and Nico didn’t need to add to it.

He glanced out the window and realized he’d stopped under the orange glow of a streetlight. If he’d just kept driving, he could have kept this hidden just a little while longer.

“I don’t want to talk--”

“No!” Hazel shouted, and Nico felt himself curling inward. “You’re bleeding from your _head!_ You could have a concussion or something! You shouldn’t even be driving right now! If this is why we had to leave, then you _will_ tell me! _Who did this to you?”_

_“Hades!”_ Nico cried out, and saying the words was more excruciating than the pounding in his head. “Hades did it! He came home drunk, _again,_ and he yelled, and he… He _hit_ me.”

“He couldn’t have possibly drawn blood with his bare hand--”

“No.” His voice had quieted down once more, and he could no longer find it within himself to look at Hazel, so he stared at the glowing lights of his dashboard. He would need to get gas, soon. “With a bottle. A glass bottle.”

A moment of silence passed as Hazel processed the words. As she struggled to pull her phone out of her pocket, she announced, “I’m calling the police.”

“No!” Nico lunged for the phone and ripped it out of her hands. “You can’t do that, because if he finds out-- I can’t let him hurt you, Hazel, I have to _protect_ you, like I should have protected Bianca--” Nico buried his face in his hands, wishing he could claw through his skin, into his brain, just to stop his thoughts from swimming. “Oh God, he was right, it should’ve been me. Bianca would have protected you better than I ever could. He wouldn’t even miss me, so he wouldn’t be like this in the first place. God, this is _all my fault.”_

Suddenly, the door to his left was ripped open, and he was pulled from the car. When had Hazel gotten out? Had he even buckled his seatbelt when he first sat down? Why was Hazel wrapping her arms around him, pulling him close and squeezing? Didn’t she know he killed their sister?

“It’s not your fault,” Hazel sobbed into his chest. “None of this is your fault!” She snaked her arms up to grab Nico’s face, careful not to move her fingers too close to his injury, and she forced him to look at her. “Say it. Say the words, _it’s not my fault.”_

“But… if I hadn’t--”

“No! _Say it’s not your fault.”_

“It’s… It’s not my fault.”

_“What_ isn’t your fault?”

Nico tensed. How was he supposed to answer that if Hazel didn’t tell him what to say? How was he supposed to know what would appease her? What if he answered wrong? “I… I didn’t kill Bianca.”

Something akin to horror shone in Hazel’s eyes, and Nico feared for a moment that he’d answered wrong, but rather than running, Hazel just hugged him once more. “Why didn’t you ever talk to me about this? I love you, Nico, I would have tried to help.”

“I had to protect you.”

“We could have protected each other.”

It took a bit of arguing to get Nico back in the car. Hazel insisted on driving, considering both Nico’s physical and emotional state, but Nico refused to get in the passenger’s seat. “I’m _fine,”_ he lied, over and over again, until Hazel got in the car and threatened to drive off without him.

They arrived at Hazel’s dorm building just as the sun started to peek over the horizon, and got to work moving her belongings into the dorm. Her roommate was still gone for the holidays, so they didn’t have to worry about bothering anybody as they came in and out. It hardly took more than half an hour to get everything settled, but Hazel was reluctant to let her brother leave.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” she asked, hugging Nico tight.

“I’ll be fine.” Gently, he removed her arms from around him and put a bit of distance between them before he said, “Listen, Hazel. I need you to promise me something. Don’t go back there, ever again.”

“But what about the rest of my stuff? Everything that didn’t fit in your car?” 

“I can move it into a storage unit, if you want, or I can bring it all here in a few hours.”

“And what about you? You’re not staying there, are you?”

Nico shook his head. “I’ve been talking to Percy. He said I can crash on his couch for a while as I figure things out.”

“You’re going to New York?”

“Yeah. And as soon as you graduate, I want you to move out there with me. I want you to be as far away from here as possible, and I don’t want to worry about what you’ll do if you have no other option than to go back ho-- Back to Hades.”

“What about Seph?”

Nico hung his head. “I can’t think of everything, Hazel.”

“But if Dad’s drinking is just going to keep getting worse, we can’t just leave her with him, can we?”

“She’s an adult, just like us. She can leave him, too, if that’s what she decides, but I don’t have any say in what she does.”

Hazel frowned. “But you have a say in what _I_ do.”

Nico scrubbed his hands over his face. “No, that’s not what I meant, and you know that. I’m just trying to--”

“Protect me, I know, I know.”

“Look, until we know who’s side she’s on, I don’t even want you talking to Seph, okay?” Nico instructed. “If there’s an emergency, call me first, and if it’s… I don’t know, urgent, call Seph only as a last resort. I don’t want anything getting back to Hades. We need to cut him out completely.” Hazel looked like she was about to argue, but Nico jumped back in again. “I know this is a lot for you right now, so out of the blue, but I need you to trust me on this. I know that… That I don’t seem all that stable right now, but I think we both know why that is, so I just need you to be on my side here. Please.”

“Of course I'm on your side. But...for the rest of our lives? They’re the only parents we have! I mean, what if something horrible happens that we need to know about? Or like… I’m going to get _married_ someday. I always thought I’d have at least one parent at my wedding, and now with my mom gone… He’s the only family you and I have left, Neeks.”

“We have each other.”

“You know what I mean. People can change. Make a deal with me, okay? In a year, we call him, and if nothing’s changed, then… I’ll reconsider cutting him out for good.”

“Hazel--”

“When I get engaged, then.”

“He’s not going to--”

“Don’t you want Seph to know when you get married?”

“When I said ‘cut them out,’ I meant _cut them out!_ I’m trying to--”

“Frank can protect me!” Hazel interrupted, not wanting to hear Nico repeating himself again. “And Frank and I can protect you, too! I’m not just going to give this up, Nico, so level with me here. When Frank and I get engaged, I’m telling Seph. I want you to be there with me.”

Nico grit his teeth, and one hand circled his other wrist. “When we’re both engaged,” Nico tried.

“What are the chances that we’ll both end up engaged at the same time? You’re not even seeing anybody, Nico, that’s practically impossible.”

“That’s my offer. We come back when we’re both engaged - or married, whatever - and we come together. Not any other time. Do we have a deal?”

Hazel didn’t look happy, but she sighed and nodded. “Yeah, deal.”

* * *

Nico sneaked back into the house. He had no way of knowing if Hades or Persephone were home, and he wanted to get in and out as soon as possible, preferably without being seen. He glanced toward Hades’s office as he crept past it, ensuring that his father wasn’t inside. Though with his focus drawn away, Nico didn’t notice Persephone standing in the hall directly in front of him, and he walked straight into her.

“Nico?” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you up and about so early. Were you… sneaking back inside after doing something you shouldn’t?”

“I didn’t-- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nico tried to deflect, and looked away from her. He could see the stairs, and wondered if Persephone would be able to stop him if he made a run for it.

She gasped, and took Nico’s head in her hands, tilting it to better look at the wound just above his ear. “Nico, you’re bleeding! If you took after your father more I’d guess you’re just coming home from a bar brawl, but you’re not old enough to get into the bars… Honey, what happened?”

He considered the possibility of taking a shower before he left - it would probably stop anyone else from noticing his injury - but he didn’t have the time. “I don’t-- I can’t tell you...here.”

Nico allowed Persephone to follow him up to his bedroom, the only place in that house where he could truly feel safe, and Nico told her everything. More than he’d told Hazel; he told her that Hades had been abusing him for years, physically and verbally, and finally that he’d knocked him unconscious the night before. He let slip that he’d moved Hazel back to her dorm and gave her strict instructions not to contact Hades or Persephone, or to come back to the house ever again. 

“I’m leaving, too,” Nico told her, maintaining the monotonous voice he’d used throughout his speech. 

Persephone, on the other hand, had been in tears from the beginning. “When?”

“As soon as I’m packed. Don’t try to stop me, either, because it’s too late. There’s nothing you can do.”

Persephone pulled Nico to her and kissed the top of his head. “I’m so sorry, Nico. If I had known… But I understand. Wherever you end up, please, _somehow,_ let me know you’re safe. I promise, I won’t bother you after that.” She squeezed him tight for just a moment, then released him. “If you ever change your mind, I’ll be here for you.”

He was packed and ready to leave by noon, but he had one last thing to do before he left. He stepped into Bianca’s bedroom, which hadn’t been touched since the day she died - aside from the occasional dusting, or when Nico or Hazel had sneaked in to borrow from Bianca’s closet. He took a lap around the room, as if to say goodbye.

There was a small box sitting on her desk, tucked into the corner and covered in a layer of dust - clearly the room wasn’t being cleaned as well as they thought. Nico picked up the box. It would hardly be missed, and it could easily be slipped into Nico’s backpack. He opened the lid and looked inside - there were a few pairs of earrings, a necklace with a tangled chain, and a single silver ring. 

He remembered the day Bianca had given it to him, and the day he’d given it back - the day of her funeral, when he’d set it on her pillow after they’d returned home from the cemetery. Someone must have moved it, and Nico was for once grateful that someone had disturbed this room. 

He slid the ring on his finger, and took the box. 

Nico went out to his car, and didn’t see Persephone before he left.

As soon as he was on the road, he called Percy.

“Nico?” he answered right away. “What’s up, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright,” he replied. “I’m on my way over.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was i expecting to write more of this? absolutely not. were yall?? doubt it  
> anyway i guess i'll never escape the i'm in hell universe but happy birthday weekend nico here's some trauma enjoy

Nico hadn’t slept in three days by the time he arrived at Percy’s apartment late at night, around two days after he’d left home. He’d barely stopped along the way, so when Annabeth opened the door for him, she looked like she’d seen a ghost. (At this point, Nico felt like he might as well be one.) 

“Oh my god,” Annabeth said as she grabbed Nico’s shoulder to pull him inside, drawing him straight into a hug. “Neeks, you look like  _ shit. _ Are you-- Are you  _ bleeding?” _

Nico refrained from reaching up to check his head, and looked to the side in an attempt to stop Annabeth from looking too closely, though she took his face in her hands and turned his head back the other way. “I’m fine,” Nico muttered when Annabeth gasped. 

“You are  _ not,” _ she argued. “You’re going to the hospital.”

“I just drove for two days, I don’t wanna drive anymore,” Nico told her. “Can’t I sleep first?” 

“Oh, you are  _ not _ driving like this,” Annabeth said as she started further into the apartment. “You probably shouldn’t have driven in the first place! Wait here. Percy just put Luke down for the night, but he’ll take you.” 

Then Annabeth disappeared around the corner, so Nico stood in the doorway with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat. He let his eyes fall shut and his head tip forward, and just about fell asleep standing up until his body started to lean, and he startled awake to catch himself. When he opened his eyes, Percy was there with his coat in hand and concern written across his face. 

Nico blinked up at him, and Percy seemed to take that as his invitation to draw Nico in for a hug. Nico flinched back when Percy got too close to the wound on the side of his head, so Percy jumped back like he’d been shocked.  _ “Dude,” _ Percy whispered, his eyes full of something like pity that made Nico’s stomach turn. Percy pulled on his coat and held out a hand. “Alright, give me your keys.” 

For a second, Nico didn’t move. He wanted to argue, to say he was too tired and that they could just go in the morning, but he didn’t want to get hit again. (Percy wouldn’t hit him, would he?) Nico took the keys out of his pocket and dropped them into Percy’s hand. 

They walked down to the road and got into Nico’s car. It wasn’t until they were a few minutes down the road that Percy tried asking what happened, though Nico wasn’t very willing to share. He hadn’t told Percy much more than  _ things have gotten worse _ and  _ I’m coming to New York, _ so he was sure that Percy was more worried for him than he was letting on. Percy’s mind was probably reeling over all the different things that might have happened to leave Nico in such a state, but Nico couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

He let Percy guess, though he never got very specific. Percy had narrowed it down to  _ Hades _ and  _ drinking, _ though Nico knew those weren’t hard to figure out. 

When they sat down in the hospital’s waiting room, Percy finally said, “You know you’ll have to tell the doctor what happened, right? I mean, maybe they can help you, like, file a police report or something.” 

Nico was shaking his head before Percy had even finished talking. “I don’t want to file a report,” he insisted. “I don’t… I don’t wanna  _ think _ about it anymore, and I don’t want him to know where I am.”

“Oh. Right, of course,” Percy said quietly, then wrapped an arm around Nico’s shoulders to bring him into a side-hug. “Well, you can stay with me and Annabeth as long as you need to, okay? We’ve got a shitty couch with your name on it, and we’ll make sure your dad never finds you.”

“Thanks,” Nico whispered, and his head fell onto Percy’s shoulder. “Um, and can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah, of course.” 

“When we get back to your place, can you call Seph? Just to let her know I got here safely, but...don’t say where I am. And then delete her number. Maybe block it, too.” 

Percy rubbed his arm. “Yeah, man, I can do that.” 

A moment later, Nico’s name was called, and he tensed. “Will you come back with me?” he asked Percy as he got to his feet, and Percy nodded. A nurse took them into the emergency room and had Nico sit on one of the beds to wait for the doctor.

Another minute or two passed before a man with curly brown hair and a lab coat approached and said, “Hi there, Mr. di Angelo. I’m Doctor Markowitz, and I’ll be taking care of your examination before my supervisor comes over. It says on your form here that you have a head injury, do you want to tell me a little more about that while I take a look?” 

Nico ducked his head and shrugged. Markowitz glanced toward Percy, who said, “He doesn’t want to talk about it.” 

“Okay, noted,” Markowitz said as he pulled on a pair of gloves. He stepped up to Nico’s side and located the wound quickly, carefully brushing away Nico’s hair to get a better look at it. “Can you at least tell me what made the wound?” 

“A glass bottle,” Nico muttered, and averted his gaze when Percy’s eyes widened. 

“Glass?” Markowitz repeated, then took a closer look. “Well, it doesn’t look like there’s any broken pieces in here, so that’s good.” 

“The bottle didn’t break,” Nico replied. “I don’t think.” 

“Must’ve been one heavy-duty bottle to hit you this hard and not break,” Markowitz commented, and Nico suppressed a flinch. “Alright, hang tight for just a minute while I call my supervisor over. I’m thinking you’re going to need a CT scan to rule out a concussion, and possibly an X-ray to make sure your skull is all in one piece. I’ll be right back.” 

As soon as the doctor was out of sight, Percy turned to Nico and asked, “He hit you with a  _ glass bottle?” _

Nico folded his arms over his stomach, one hand wrapping around his other arm. He didn’t respond. He didn’t have time to, either, before Percy’s phone started to ring. 

“It’s Annabeth,” he said, “probably just checking in. I’ll be right back, okay?” 

And then Percy was gone, too, and Nico’s hand gripped tighter. He could hear Percy at first, answering the call and saying that they’d already talked to a doctor, but then his voice dropped lower and Nico had to strain to hear it. 

“He’s not acting like himself,” Percy whispered. “It’s like he’s fifteen again, he’s barely even talking to  _ me.” _ A pause, and then, “Can that happen? Can something like this make him, like, regress, or whatever?” Nico’s fingernails began clawing at his skin. “Oh, the doctor’s coming back. I’ll let you know what’s up as soon as I can.” 

On top of a moderate concussion, Nico had a skull fracture, was severely dehydrated, and had reached the point of exhaustion that the doctors were surprised to still see him upright. Nico declined an IV drip of fluids and something that would help him sleep, insisting that he just wanted to leave, so Percy drove him home with a prescription that basically boiled down to  _ rest. _

Nico passed out on the couch as soon as they were inside, and didn’t wake for almost twenty hours. When he did finally awaken, he got up to find Annabeth in the kitchen making dinner. 

“Hey, Neeks,” she said as she stirred a pot of pasta. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine,” he replied, folding his arms across his stomach and eying the stove. “Can I help?” 

Annabeth raised an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t you be resting?” 

“I just did.” Nico’s nose scrunched up at the idea of sitting on that couch any longer. “I’m rested. So, can I help?” 

“Why don’t you see if you can help Percy with Luke, instead?” 

Nico hesitated. “But I like cooking.” 

“Do you like babies?” 

“I...don’t know.” 

“Well, if you’re going to be staying with us for a little while, then I’d like to know that you’re comfortable around my son,” Annabeth told him. “You never know, I might ask you to babysit. So, go hang out with Luke, and I’ll shout for everyone when this is ready.” 

Nico huffed and said, “Fine,” then turned out of the kitchen. Before he could fully leave, though, he stopped himself and said, “Actually, um. After dinner, do you think you could help me with something?” 

“Maybe,” she replied, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. “What is it?” 

“I need to change my phone number.” 

Annabeth nodded. “Yeah, we’ll figure that out.” 

As it turned out, Nico got along with Luke just fine. It was almost easier than hanging out with adults, he realized, because he didn’t feel the need to try to hold a conversation. Luke could only say a handful of words, anyway. Nico spent a good half hour just holding blocks whenever Luke gave them to him. 

As dinner came and went, Nico learned what sorts of things Luke could and couldn’t eat, and then later on watched how to go about putting Luke to sleep at night. Apparently parenting was easier than people made it seem. How had Hades messed up so bad?

When the living room was once again baby-free, Annabeth sat down with Nico to help him figure out how to change his phone number. Percy was laying across the floor for some reason, and had been asking Nico about college in an attempt to get his mind off of running away from home. Unfortunately, that wasn’t really something Nico wanted to talk about, either. 

“So, do you need to, like, transfer to a new school or something?” Percy asked as he tossed one of Luke’s toys into the air above him. “You know, since you can’t  _ go _ to class.” 

“It’s all online,” Nico replied. He was watching Annabeth work from the opposite end of the couch because the brightness of his phone screen hurt his head. “I talked to somebody at NYU last summer about doing all online classes.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to do that?” Annabeth asked. “You can’t even look at your phone long enough to see who’s texting you.”

“And that doctor said you need to avoid screens for at least a week, didn’t he?” Percy added. 

Nico felt his heart rate rise as his anxiety spiked again. “Well, what day is it?” he asked, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking as much as his hands were. “Maybe I’ll have time to rest before my classes start.” 

“It’s Wednesday, the…” Percy drew out the last word as he pulled out his phone, “...sixth. When do your classes start?” 

Nico dropped his head into his hands. “Two days ago.” 

“Okay, no big deal,” Annabeth said without raising her eyes from her laptop screen. “Just email your professors to explain the problem, and ask for an extension on anything you missed.” 

“But I won’t be able to  _ do _ anything for another week, and at that point, I’ll be two weeks behind in, like, half of my classes,” Nico complained, scrubbing his hands over his face and then scraping his hair back from his face. “And then what if I can’t catch up? Maybe I should just take the semester off.”

“Alright, take a breath.” Annabeth reached over and set a hand on Nico’s arm, but he flinched out from under the touch. “I think you should sleep on it. There’s no need to make such an impulsive decision.” 

Nico pulled his knees up to his chest and dropped his gaze to the floor. “No. It’s better if I drop the classes now instead of having to withdraw later. I’ll just start up again in the fall.” 

He glanced up again just in time to see Annabeth and Percy sharing a worried look. He grabbed onto his arm and squeezed. 

* * *

The apartment was too small for three adults. Maybe if Nico hadn’t had to sleep on the couch, then he would’ve been less of an inconvenience to Percy and Annabeth. He tried to make up for it in other ways. He cooked whenever he could, and he washed the dishes every night. Nico was trusted enough to look after Luke on his own for short periods of time - if Percy needed to run out to the store while Annabeth was in class or at work, usually. 

Still, Nico was in the way. He hadn’t quite assimilated into their home, and he’d heard them whispering late at night when they all should have been asleep that money was tight. 

Things came to a head when Nico finished off a pot of coffee one morning, assuming that the others had gotten their share. He was feeding Luke so that Annabeth could get out the door in time for class when Percy stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake and already grumpy. He grabbed a mug out of the cabinet before reaching for the empty pot and freezing at the sight.

He slammed the pot back into place, and Nico flinched.

“Damn it, Nico, did you drink all the coffee?” Percy snapped.

Nico sunk in his seat, hoping to appear as small as possible. He watched Percy pick up his mug again, and imagined it shattering against his skull. He wound his arms around his stomach and ducked his head. 

“The least you could do is make another pot,” Percy continued.  _ “God.” _

“Sorry.” Nico pushed his chair back, the legs screeching against the floor and making him flinch again.  _ “Sorry.” _ He was up on his feet one second, and then he blinked, and he was in the living room. He could hear his pulse in his ears. His head darted back and forth, but there was nowhere to hide. 

Oh  _ god, _ why wasn’t there anywhere to hide? 

He couldn’t hide in the bathroom, because Annabeth was in there. He couldn’t hide in either bedroom, because the doors didn’t have locks. 

He went into Luke’s room anyway. Nico figured he would have a better chance at hiding underneath the crib then he would Percy’s bed. And then, when he shut the door behind himself, he saw the window. 

_ The fire escape. _

Nico pulled the curtains loose and climbed out the window before sliding it shut. He heard Percy shouting for him as he sat down on the nearest step. He almost got up and ran down the fire escape just to make sure he wouldn’t get hit. Instead, he stayed perfectly still to ensure that the creaking of the fire escape wouldn’t give him away. 

He only wished he’d brought a jacket.

Nico was blowing on his fingers to keep them warm when the window slid open. He must have already been frozen to the step, or maybe it was the panic that kept him from jumping up and running away. 

_ “Nico,” _ Annabeth breathed with a sigh of relief. She held a hand out to him. “What the  _ hell _ are you doing out here? Get inside, it’s freezing!” 

Nico hesitated. “Is...Percy gone?” 

Annabeth frowned, waving her hand impatiently. “What are you talking about? Why would he be gone?”

Nico stuffed his hands under his arms and ducked his head. Of course Percy wouldn’t be gone. He  _ lived _ there. It was Nico that was always going to have to run away.

“Do you need him to be gone?” Annabeth asked gently. 

Nico shrugged. 

Annabeth sighed, and Nico tensed. She sounded annoyed. “Alright, don’t move.” 

Then she shut the window. Maybe she locked it, too, so that Nico wouldn’t be able to get back inside. He would freeze to death out there, and he could finally stop being everybody’s problem. 

The window opened again, and Annabeth poked her head out. “I told him to back off. He won’t come into Luke’s room while we’re in here, so would you  _ please _ come back inside?” She held her hand out to him again, and this time, Nico took it. Her hand was unnaturally warm, or maybe he had let himself get colder than he thought. 

Nico’s bare feet touched the carpet and he immediately dropped to the floor while Annabeth shut the window behind him. She wrapped him up in a blanket and wound her arms around his shoulders. “Tell me what happened, Nico.” 

“I…” His teeth started chattering. Why was he shivering now that he was back in the warmth? “I drank the last of the coffee. I thought Percy already had some.”

“So your solution was the freeze to death in repentance?” 

“He was mad,” Nico whispered, his arms tightening around his knees. “I thought he was gonna hit me.” 

“Nico,” Annabeth said, her voice stern but not harsh, “you  _ know _ Percy would never hit you. He  _ loves _ you.” 

“I thought my dad loved me.” 

Annabeth pressed her forehead to the top of Nico’s head. “Neeks, this isn’t working out.” 

Nico’s next breath caught in his throat, and he felt his eyes sting with the beginnings of tears. 

Annabeth started rubbing his back. “I know we said that you could stay here as long as you need, but… Nico, this place isn’t big enough for all of us, and Percy and I… Our money is spread so thin already that we’re constantly stressed about paying the bills on time, and having you here too… We can’t walk on eggshells in our own home. I’m sorry, Nico. We love you, and we’re not kicking you out, but we need to start looking for another option for you. And maybe a therapist, too.” 

Nico dropped his head onto his knees as his tears started to fall. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m messing everything up. I never should’ve come here, I’m sorry.” 

“No, Nico, you have  _ nothing _ to be sorry for,” Annabeth assured him. “And I’m glad you came here and got away from your dad. I’m glad you’re safe. And I’m sorry that Percy’s such an ass when he doesn’t get his coffee right away. I should’ve warned you about that.” 

“Not your fault,” Nico muttered.

Annabeth patted his shoulder. “Not yours, either. Are you gonna be okay?” 

Nico hesitated, then nodded. 

“Do you think you’re ready to talk to Percy?” she asked. “I think he’d like to apologize.” 

“Yeah,” Nico said, still nodding. “I’m ready.” 

Annabeth stood, then offered a hand to help Nico to his feet. She led the way out of the room and toward the living room where Percy was sitting on the floor with Luke, and as soon as Percy saw them, he jumped to his feet. 

“Nico!” Percy exclaimed, rushing forward with his arms held out, though he froze when he saw Nico flinch. Percy glanced at Annabeth, his expression wavering and his arms drooping slightly before he asked, “Um, can I hug you?” 

Nico took a step closer and nodded. Percy’s arms closed around him. 

“Dude, you had me  _ so _ freaked out,” Percy said into Nico’s hair. “I’m  _ so _ sorry for yelling at you. I’ll try not to do it again, I promise.” 

“Thanks,” Nico replied, shifting subtly until Percy released him. He took a few steps back and held his arms over his stomach again, as if defending a weak point. 

Annabeth set a hand on his shoulder. “I have to leave for class, but are you going to be okay?” 

Nico took a deep breath and met her gaze. “I’ll be okay.” 

“Good. When I get home, we can start looking for a therapist,” she said in a way that let Nico know she also meant  _ if that’s okay with you. _ “And Percy, when you put Luke down for his nap, you two should start looking for apartments.” 

Annabeth pulled Nico forward and kissed his forehead. She kissed Percy on the lips, then Luke on the top of his head as she grabbed her bag, and then she was gone. 

Nico didn’t move for a few minutes. Percy settled back onto the floor with Luke and eventually turned the TV on for some background noise. Nico edged his way toward the couch and sat down in the corner, curled up with his knees to his chest. 

Percy reached back and tapped on Nico’s shin with his fingers. “Hey, no hard feelings, right?” he asked, his head tipping back to rest on the cushion next to Nico. “I love having you here, dude, and I’ve missed you a lot, but I’m sorry that it’s not working out. Besides, don’t you think it’ll be better to have your own place, anyway?” 

Nico’s arms tightened around his legs. “I don’t... _ want _ to live alone. I don’t think I can.” 

“Oh.” Percy’s gaze turned back to Luke. “I guess I always assumed that you were the type to like having your own space. Uh, okay, well, we can…” Percy hummed in thought. “We can look on...Craigslist? To find you a roommate?” He glanced back at Nico, and there must have been something about the look on Nico’s face that made Percy burst into laughter. “Okay, you’re right. Stupid idea.” 

Percy scooped the TV remote up off the floor and tossed it back to Nico. “Go ahead and put on whatever.”

Nico flipped through the channel guide for a few minutes, but ended up sticking with whatever kid’s show was already playing. 

“Maybe you could crash with somebody we already know,” Percy said. “We could talk to Jason or Leo, or-- No, wait, now that I think of it, I think  _ Leo _ might be crashing on Jason’s couch… Hm. You can’t get a dorm at NYU if you’re not taking classes this semester… Man, the only person I can think of that has a spare room is my mom.” 

Nico felt himself perk up for the first time in days. “Do you think you could ask her?” 

Percy shot him a teasing grin. “You wanna live with my  _ mom?” _ He looked away before Nico’s expression could fall, and shrugged. “Alright, I’ll call her after lunch. I’m sure she’d love to have you.”

* * *

Nico had his first meeting with a therapist the day before moving out of Percy and Annabeth’s apartment. It didn’t take long to pack up his belongings, mainly because he’d hardly taken anything out of his car to begin with. But when he got to Sally’s with the Jackson-Chases not far behind, they unloaded everything from his car to take inside. The guest room was a bit of a tight squeeze with all of Nico’s boxes and suitcases inside, but he had plenty of time to unpack and organize later. 

He came out of the room -  _ his _ room - to thank Sally and Paul a few more times, but when he stepped into the kitchen, Sally beat him to it. She pulled Nico into a hug, practically squeezing the life out of him as she did so, and kissed the side of his head. “We’re so happy to have you here, Nico,” she whispered to him. “You stay here as long as you need.” 

“It won’t be forever,” Nico promised her after weaseling out of the hug. “I just need to figure some stuff out, and maybe I can try to get a dorm when the fall semester starts, and--” 

Sally took Nico’s face in her hands and pressed her lips to his forehead. “Take all the time you need, honey.” 

Nico felt like he might cry. He forgot what it was like to have a mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! after this, once nico gets settled, he goes out to celebrate his birthday with all of his friends that he hasnt seen in like a year (bc they live across the country) and yes he does cry when he realizes that there are still a lot of people out there who care about him

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! sorry if i ruined yalls lives,,,,, but please dont get mad at me if you ignored the tags yall,,, that was your choice
> 
> check out the [additional notes](https://buoyantsaturn.tumblr.com/post/190812306251/riding-bikes-additional-notes) for this fic!! i couldn't squeeze everything i wanted into a single fic, so i have a list of some things that happen after this


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